Breakthrough

Anyone who knows me well, knows that I am unabashedly self-absorbed. (Some would say it's part of my charm). However, I recently had a breakthrough not-so-self-involved moment. So what that it lasted all of five seconds. I'm just proud to say it was my little Hayes who got me there.

It happened at a neighborhood coffee shop, where I sipped sweet iced tea from a straw. Hayes sat across from me blowing bubbles into his.

Allow me to interject that Hayes and I go all out with the antics at home. And there are only a few behaviors reserved especially for the public. Not blowing bubbles into our iced tea is one of such behaviors. But when I reminded Hayes of this, he complied only briefly. Then he continued blowing hot air into his tea cup. Since he decided to (1) ignore me and (2) continue to be rude after being told not to do so, I decided to (1) remind him that there are consequences for such actions and (2) deliver the message clearly and succinctly. I told him that if he did not immediately stop, I would take the cup away and he'd be left with...nothing.

It was in the five seconds after I spit out those words that the breakthrough happened. In an attempt to uphold the rules and regulate behavior, I spoke with absolutely no regard for my three-year-old's fragile feelings. I wanted so badly to take back what I said. And I tried to make it all better with a heartfelt apology. But it was too late. Hayes began to cry. And when I asked him to explain the tears all he said was, "I'll...have...nothing!" He was crushed. And it was my selfish fault.

But still I'm proud to say that he got me to a place where I could clearly see that I often speak from my position only. And for all of five seconds, I was totally there.